Not All Mothers Are Mothers
We have all had, at least once in our lives as children, a time when we pretended to be a mother. Whether we had a doll to take care of or a baby brother or sister or even a pet dog, we all had our role-playing moments as “mom.” Behind our minds was the thought that we would make great moms someday. We would love our kids in the sweetest way.
However, motherhood is not as easy as it looked…as most of you would probably know by now. There may be some of you who take to motherhood as a goldfish takes to water. That is not the case for everyone, though. Not all mothers are mothers right from the start.
Motherhood is a 24 hour job that entails so many sacrifices. Sleep becomes a luxury if you are blessed with a cute little tyrant who undergoes biological changes that make him an insomniac every now and then. Eating times that used to be peaceful are usually disrupted when the little one wants a bit of cuddling. Relationships can be strained if the people around you do not understand your focus on the baby. Sometimes you would just want to stop the world from spinning and just breathe!
Being “mom” is a novelty if you are a child. However, it can be pretty overwhelming if you are supposed to be at the prime of teenage life. Instead of purchasing the latest make-up essential, you find yourself purchasing diaper rash creams. Instead of buying fashionable clothes, you end up peeping through the girdles to get back to shape. Instead of hanging out with friends, you are hanging on to sanity because the baby is totally dependent on you.
Some women can handle this big responsibility easily. However, if you are at the stage of your life when you also still want to be pampered, this could pose as a serious problem. This is a dilemna that many women undergo and it could be worse for teenaged moms.
If you have read The Women of Brewster Place, you would encounter Cora Lee, a mother who cannot cope with the developments of her children when they are growing up. She loves having babies because of their dependence on her but she finds it hard to sustain the relationship once the babies become children with preferences of their own. She finds it so hard to deal with the situation when patience and compromises have to be met. She is not a role model mom.
When one defines the word “mom,” many of us immediately think of a woman who cares for us or cooks great food or gets things organized at home or someone to come home to when the world gets quite tough. Being a teenage mother now can make these ideals we relate to motherhood heavier than expected. These tend to impose more pressure on ourselves and it can really be overwhelming.
This is why there are those who would rather ignore their children and move on with what they want in their lives. There are those who find the responsibilities of motherhood too tiring and would rather pamper themselves instead of finding time for their children. There are those who cannot cope with the pressures and tend to hurt their children because they are losing their control over their lives. Not all mothers become good mothers.
It takes more courage to become a good mom especially a teenaged one. It entails a lot of sacrifices but it is worth it. Children do not always grow up the way we want them to but they are worth it if they got enough love from their mothers. We have our own views on what a mother should be and though it is hard to become that kind of woman, you must strive and try because in the end, you would be happy to know that your children will also form good definitions of what “moms” are all about. And you will be content to know that their definition of mom was because of you.