It’s so hard to leave someone you’ve learned to love and decided to spend the rest of your life with especially when you are left with no choice. Yes, I was left without any choice at all. Decisions have to be made… and I have to leave my fiancé because if I don’t, I’ll break the hearts of the people who are the main reason of my existence in this world… my parents.
I can’t really go into details. Hope you’ll understand, but I would like to concentrate more on the pain of leaving the person whom you’ve build your world around with, shared your dreams with, and you’ve eventually chosen to be your life partner. And even though you are sure that he is the “one” meant for you, you can’t ignore the fact that you can’t be happily married with this person if you know you’re parents aren’t happy with this thought. Breaking him up is one great sacrifice. Moving on without him is like living without purpose. I’ve not only broken my heart but his heart, too.
I almost wanted to die because of the break-up. My fiancé is my other half… my life. At one point, I even ask God why this has to happen to us. I know I don’t have the right to question Him. But why does He have to lead you the person whom you’ve thought is your perfect life partner when in the end it’s also bound not to happen? It’s hard to please everyone. It’s hard to choose when you are not given good choices.
I felt so numb. Everyday I cry, hoping that it would somehow help me manage to survive and face the truth that my life’s purpose of existence is already gone and that there’s nothing I can do about it. Life is indeed unfair… for me… for us. Now, what’s the purpose of my existence without him?
I know it’s an exaggeration to say that it’s the end of my world because as long as we’re living, there is hope. But I can’t see that hope right now. It’s hard to hold on to that hope not knowing what the future has in store for both of us. But all I know is that as long as I’m living, he will remain my one great love.